I absolutely love working out, but there are days that I can’t get myself to do it. I hit a slump mid-week last week, which continued through the weekend. I felt lethargic, lazy and pretty apathetic about it. I hate the fact that I am only disciplined about 50% of the time. I push myself really hard, and then I crash a few days later. I am searching for some middle-ground here.
I have always told myself that discipline is the key. Well, discipline with focus. I am the absolute queen of good intentions, and planning. I waste more time thinking about what I am supposed to be doing than actually doing anything at all. It’s such a wasted life! My answer to failed plans is always to plan some more. Internal pep talks, with a whole lot of obsession.
I read an article yesterday in Real Simple by Helen Schulman titled “Count me Out” and it registered with me. I’ve spent my entire life counting… workouts, length of workouts, number of workouts I missed this week, number of times I lost it with my kids, number of days left until the end of summer, number of days left of the school year, calories, numbers on a scale, … I’m sure you get the jist here. Helen stopped counting, with a great deal of effort, and found freedom in that. When I think about NOT counting workouts or calories I feel incredibly anxious.
So, I’ve been focusing less on the “I HAVE TO DO THIS” and more on the fact that everything is a choice, and the decisions I make have pretty clear cut consequences. If I choose to eat well, work out, spend 15 minutes a day getting myself organized, catching up on laundry, doing a project I’ve put off forever (like framing my wedding picture), or spending much needed time escaping into a book (or houzz.com) I find freedom and reap some significant rewards.
Do I sound like self-help book? I don’t mean to. I’m just all wrapped up in my thoughts these days. Too much time on my hands, too many kids and messes to watch and clean up after, and too many days until my work resumes. I promise to be more interesting the next time I post.
BTW, I found a triathlon training group and even though I haven’t joined in a single group ride, run or swim, I still feel like I’ve found my niche. I’m excited! I still need to find a tri to sign up for this fall. I’m procrastinating far too long on this chore.
AND, Bill and I are mid-way through month 2 on P90X. Corn Cob Pullups SUCK! OUCH! I’m feeling pretty strong these days though! and my husband’s guns are getting BIGGER!